this is the teeniest bit of meta. watching this season 1 "dnr':
House: And that’s all you are? A musician?
John: I got one thing, same as you.
House: Really? Apparently, you know me better than I know you.
John: I know that limp. I know the empty ring finger. And that obsessive nature of yours, that’s a big secret. You don’t risk jail and your career just to save somebody who doesn’t want to be saved unless you got something, anything, one thing. The reason normal people got wives and kids and hobbies, whatever. That’s because they don’t got that one thing that hits them that hard and that true. I got music, you got this. The thing you think about all the time, the thing that keeps you south of normal. Yeah, makes us great, makes us the best. All we miss out on is everything else. No woman waiting at home after work with the drink and the kiss, that ain’t gonna happen for us.
House: That’s why God made microwaves.John: Yeah, but when it’s over, it’s over.
in light of the season 5 last 2 episodes made me think just how long the arc of house's disintegration has been going on. over and over again we see house choose to go toward the path of instability and even insanity, even though he craves the normal and the sane because he knows that without his practice, he's nothing. so he doesn't succeed at ridding himself from the vicodin and eh doesn't stay on the methadone and now we have hallucinations (have had for a while) that any sane person would recognize as a symptom of something dangerous and scary. but house sees himself as so damaged and unworthy that he can't even give himself the courtesy of treating himself like the puzzle he is.