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my heart is a little bit broken again....

just watched the final episode of defying gravity and i have that awful feeling of loss.  i know i was warned not to get too attached, but it was so damn good and so full of possibility, and it's just done.  i was so gripped by it: the characters, the stories, the mythology that was building, the overall look of the show, and the mystery.  not to mention ron livingston was carving his niche in my little "men i love" pantheon.  damn abc for being so fucking shortsighted.  how unusual for a network to fail on such a grand scale......fuck. 

um.  in other less fannish news, on friday when i was playing hooky, i spoke to hachem for the first time in 21 years using gmail's voip.  it was strange and intense and wonderful and weird and i'm gripped with the impulse to hop a plane to tunisia.  but i won't, so no worries--at least not yet.  i really want him to come here actually and think that might be nearly impossible as well (just how easy is it for an arab to come into the us these days?).  it is perhaps as he tells me, destiny keeping us apart.  that we're actually star-crossed.  and that's nearly as heart-breaking now as it was 20 years ago when we met in paris.  

meanwhile i have to keep my head about me so i can continue to do the job i hate during the day.  and do all the many other things i love--like my band!  i love my band!  the show friday was mediocre at best although i sounded good.  the boys had some problems, and tyler especially was nervous and then broke a string so there was that.  but i had a great time and britton kept telling me i was holding them all together which felt terrific plus i looked great--miss anita at the lancôme counter in the lloyd center nordstrom did my make-up and it was fantastic--all sexy, smoky eyes...very glam!   and i can't wait for our show next weekend at the alberta st pub.  

well i'm off to hang with my bro and the nephews and then i'm seeing ragtime tonight with my friend liz.  all in all, not a bad weekend! 


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 27th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
Love hearing about your music adventures. :)

Who is Hachem, if you don't mind my asking? There is a story here, clearly...
Oct. 28th, 2009 02:55 am (UTC)
oh you can certainly ask. hachem was a boy i met when i was a girl, living in paris for the year in 1988-89. we met outside a disco where i was standing debating with two of my friends whether or not we should go in. this beautiful (and i mean gorgeous!) arab boy walked up to me and said we shouldn't go in, that it was a bad club. so we all went elsewhere, and he and i fell in love. it was mad, crazy love, and we wanted to get married. but he had to return to his home in tunisia, and this was long before the days of the internet, so we tried to stay in touch but failed miserably. and our love faded into the mists of time. and that's barely hyperbole.

then the very day that i arrived home from my summer trip to europe this august, there was a message through facebook from him. he was looking for me and finally decided to reach out. and we've been corresponding since. but friday was the best because we actually got to speak to each other and it was amazing. you know, i had completely forgotten the sound of his voice but the moment i heard it, i recognized it. and it's got my head spinning and spinning as you can imagine. he's never married. i've never married. it's been 21 years and he's been looking for me.......so that's hachem in a nutshell. sigh.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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