yesterday was the biggest day so far. we took a bus tour through the town and then south out along the coast. it's a bit like driving through the hollywood hills with the winding roads and the million dollar homes perched up high. it's the panamerican highway and i love the idea of being connected there from chile to alaska. i never get that sense on the I-5 but it's the same road. maybe because the willamette valley is not as as exotic as the jungle south of puerta vallarta. i mean you don't see iguanas in the trees or pelicans swooping for fish in wilsonville. we went to a tequila distillery which was interesting even though i could really give a rat's ass about tequila. and i had a lovely lunch of beef consommé. this has been my diet for nearly 5 days now. clear liquids only. and before that 4 days of fasting. and before that 2 weeks of liquid diet. i haven't been on a scale yet but i'd already lost 18 pounds even before the surgery so i'm hoping to see lower numbers when i weigh in tonight at sara's.
speaking of which, my cousin, without whom i'd never have been able to manage this, is making me nuts in a fairly low grade way. she narrates everything she's going to do. "i'm going to put this here. and then, i'll take this and put it here. and tomorrow i think i'll wear my swimsuit to breakfast because i won't need to come back up here and ok so i have my wallet and my towel and sunscreen and i'll just grab a tissue and ok i'll see you down there!" this is a non-stop phenomenon. she also organizes me which, since i'm 40 years old, an adult, and a very organized person i just don't narrate my activities, is a little nutty. this morning, she walked out of the bathroom with my phone and charger --which I'D PUT THERE!--and said you're fully charged and then took the two pieces apart, putting the phone in one place and the charger in another. to me, that's a recipe for losing something or leaving it behind. but to her, she's just trying to be helpful. i'd say the hardest part of anything was when we were in the hospital and i was fasting, couldn't even have water, and she would eat in the room with me. crunchy things like almonds and lettuce and apples that i could hear her eat. and she would talk about the things she'd eaten at the restaurant or found at the shopping center across from the hospital. that felt like torture. but i couldn't ask her to go anywhere else because she was staying in the room with me and helping me all the time and not asking me to pay for her to stay in the hotel for the nights i was in there and sleeping on a terrible terrible couch thing.so i sucked it up. and am now complaining about it here. and like i said, she's been a rock so complaining about it makes me look like an ungrateful fuck. which i'm totally not. just gotta vent. so i think i'm vented. thanks for listening.
right now i'm choking down this god-awful isopure protein ick in a apple-melon flavor which ought to be illegal it's so disgusting. but i have to get it in me since i still can't actually eat anything. or even drink anything that's not clear. sunday is the last day of this and i get to move to full liquids which means protein shakes and yogurts!! and those yummy thick soups from trader joe's (omg tomato basil soup you are going to be devoured!!) and pudding and things i can almost chew!!!! almost. my brother, who is most excellent, says this is only a blip in time and soon it'll be behind me as i move toward the new healthy life i want to live and he's right. but boy if life is only the now, this now is tasting pretty icky.
i'm super-looking forward though to seeing absolute_tash and wovenindelibly as well as my darling derek brown once i hit southern california. that will make all this silliness totally worthwhile!!!
so next time i post anything i'll be stateside again!! see y'all on the flipside, bb's!!!!
ps: i wanted to say that i've been reading the flist as the very slow wifi here at hotel nh krystal will let me but the energy to post replies hasn't been with me. but i wanted you to know i've been around a bit and am thinking of all of you and your various excitements and travails.